The Time I Bared My Soul to a Velvet-Caped Stranger
Or, how I decided rocks were going to help *eye roll* transform my life
I was desperate, so I drove to the nearest metaphysical store after doing a 5-second online search. The photos made the place look huge and had shelves upon shelves of rocks (or ahem, crystals). Mostly, I wanted to hide in corners if anyone I knew spotted me.
But then again, who in my life believes in the whole manifesting mumbo-jumbo? What do you mean rocks can emit energy, and by having them in your mere presence, some miracle appears out of thin air?
If it’s already clear, I, Sarah Li-Cain, think the way people use crystals are utter bullshit.
But, you ask, what am I doing driving to a freaking rock shop?
My hopes for total anonymity at the metaphysical shop were dashed, when the minute I stepped in, I heard a sing-songy “hello!” come from the back corner at the same time the brass bell on the door chimed.
Out floated this person, dressed all in black, with thick thigh-high platform boots with silver buckles. And a massive velvet cape dragging behind them. I tell them I’m here to buy a crystal but not sure what’s the most appropriate one.
Then came the barrage of questions.
“What’s going on in your life?”
“What are your intentions for this season in your life?”
“What are you feeling that led you here?”
You know, invasive questions that somehow feel totally natural to ask a total stranger.
And yet, I stood there with this person, baring my soul.
Like I said, I was desperate. Desperate for some sort of change. I was tired, my work felt flat, and I was getting ready to have a confrontation with a (now ex-) business partner I did not want to have. I was still coming through the throes of burnout (you know, the month where I could barely get out of bed) and wondering if there was something wrong with me.
The velvet-caped shopkeeper puts two small rocks in my outstretched palm.
I remember him saying: “here, this should do it. Tiger’s Eye is all-seeing and all-knowing. It’ll help you with the changes you’re about to make.”
Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do when I got home. At the very least, I was relieved I didn’t spend more than twenty dollars. Sure, I was desperate for change, but I was gonna be cheap about it.
I put them in the sun (but not where anyone in my home could see because frankly, I was scared someone would make fun of me) and then in a potted succulent plant, because apparently rocks love to be in the soil.
I wasn’t sure when it would start making its magic.
So off to online searching I went (again). I glossed over the all-seeing and all-knowing terminology and landed on the word “pseudomorph.”
The word pseudomorph comes from the Greek word pseudēs, or false. Encyclopedia Britannica offers this definition:
Pseudomorph, mineral formed by chemical or structural change of another substance, though retaining its original external shape. Although pseudomorphs give the appearance of being crystalline, they are commonly granular and waxy internally and have no regular cleavage; those that are crystalline have optical properties different from those required by their outward form.
Pseudomorphs are formed by substitution, deposition, or alteration. In the formation of a pseudomorph by substitution, the original substance has been gradually removed and simultaneously replaced by another.
To translate the above definition into more plain speak, Tiger’s Eye is a type of crystal that is made up of one type of mineral but looks like it’s made of another. Basically, the crystal has changed because it’s been replaced with another chemical, but it still has the same external rock structure, hence the “false” reference. Specifically, Tiger’s Eye is a type of quartz crystal (usually clear) that weaves bands of shiny brown lines, which are made of minerals that turn into a type of iron ore, giving it its color.
Looking into the science behind Tiger’s Eye made me feel better than just thinking about the “magic” behind the crystal. Nature is indeed cool! Even inanimate objects can morph and change! That means I can too! How utterly insane and marvelous and puzzling and fascinating and scary all at once!
I’m often told I don’t look different in my 40s than in my 30s. Sometimes I look at a photo of me when I first got married, to when my son was a small infant, to a headshot for my writer website, and mostly agree with what others say.
But I know I’m different. I can see it in my eyes. The years of hard-earned joy, sadness and grief. The lessons I learned when I looked for outside validation and landed on the fact that my version of enough is what will save me (and probably everyone else if they searched for theirs). The way my arms are still kinda scrawny, but I can lift heavier weights (I just bought new dumbbells, wish me luck!).
I can’t say whether the Tiger’s Eye I bought all those years ago really performed magic in my life. Or helped me be all-seeing and all-knowing.
But what I can tell you is this: I have worked hard at being more at ease with who I am and what I put out into the world. My identities as a mother, business person, wife, friend, sister, daughter, consumer, reader and writer are still intact. What has changed is how I’m approaching these roles, weaving in what works and changing what doesn’t.
There are days I look back and barely recognize the person I’ve become.
My two tiny pieces of Tiger’s Eye sit at my desk, each time I am here to write. Perhaps it’s a reminder that I’m in a constant state of change. Whatever its purpose, the mere act of buying them became the catalyst for new beginnings I somehow made appear out of thin air.
I suppose that’s the very definition of magic.
That is indeed magic.
I really resonated with this one, and surprised too not knowing what to expect from the title. I, too, am skeptical and rely more on science to understand things, so your research on the tiger stones was fascinating. I got excited too at their powers and transformations and how it can serve as a symbol for us.
This is how I see life as interconnected, even with a stone. After making a pact for myself a decade ago by throwing in a coin into a river, and then buying a ring to remind me (I am still wearing it), I see that I am also making my own magic. :) thanks for that!
Great article, thank you!