A Post in Which I Attempt to Accept My Flaws

We're human, but we don't want to act like it...

Imperfection is not our personal problem, it is a natural part of existing. 

-Tara Brach

A book I read in fourth grade made such an impression on me I still think about it to this day. 

It’s called (and I kid you not) Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!

Granted, grade three was decades ago, so what compelled me to pick up this book, I can’t tell you. The cover does have a blonde boy wearing a broccoli around his neck — I’m going to imagine my younger self giggling at the cover at our elementary school library and picking up for our forced silent reading time. 

For the sake of not spoiling the book (in case you feel compelled to read it), what I took away was that you can’t exist in the world if you were absolutely perfect. Never make a mistake? Yeah right. Have everyone walking around you adoring how immensely awesome you are? Highly doubt it. 

So if having flaws are merely a by-product of being human, why do we try so hard to hide them?

I know I’m still worried about what others think (some less than others, let’s be honest here) and wear the occasional makeup if I’m in a professional setting where I know I’ll feel intimidated. I look like I’m half my age most days, and a lot of men in the financial and media industries where I work find it hard to take me seriously. Yes, it’s not my fault, but I feel the pressure to look a certain part.

What I’m still trying hard to take to heart is that being imperfect is a part of how I exist. My flaws may be annoying to some, but they could be seen as strengths to others. Part of this acceptance is naming these so-called imperfections out loud in the hope that I am no longer afraid of them.

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Dearests, if you’re on Substack and like what you’re reading on Searching For Enough please consider recommending this publication. Your readers can come to a safe space where in a world asking you to strive for more, I help them champion for living life on their own terms by listening to and acting on your inner voice.

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I, Sarah Li-Cain, exhibit the following flaws:

• Usually interrupt my husband in the middle of a sentence when feeling excited about the topic

• Throw a string of swear words (my preference is for the F-word) when exhausted and irritated

• Eat cheese knowing my body doesn’t respond well to it (Brie is life)

• Blamed farts on my son when he was an infant

• Given too much of myself and realize sometimes too late that person has an insecure friendship attachment

• Ruminate on past conversations nonstop for days or even weeks afterward

• Not always compassionate to people who have an upper middle class lifestyle and take out loans for vacations

• Worked myself to points of exhaustion because I felt I had something to prove

• Ignore emails

• Whenever I know I need a mental break and tell myself I should read a lighthearted book, I almost always turn to a book that is almost guaranteed to make me cry

• Swear at drivers that cut me off on the road. In the midst of the profanity is when I remember my son is also in the car

Naming things out loud tends to lessen their intensity in our minds, so I’d love to hear what you think is a perceived flaw of yours - let me know in the comments ❤️