Don't forget to look up
A lesson in paying attention
I’m sitting in a coffee shop at a public library in northwest Germany as I’m writing this. The chairs are a lush lime green, the flat white is strong (just the way it should be) and the barista was patient with me as I tried to order in my very limited German capabilities.
Soaking in the sun is easy here, since three walls are surrounded by floor to ceiling windows. You could probably sit here and people watch for hours, with the main train station across the street.
My lilac notebook is out, ready for all the scribbles. A new fountain pen rests in its gutter. I look everywhere and nowhere, my eyes still red, puffy, itchy and dry all at once.
At least the tears stopped long enough for me to walk the 15 minutes to this place.
I honestly thought I did a good job of pacing the time between intense sightseeing, scheduling in downtime, and spontaneous time where we all take it day by day. The truth is, the massive shakeup in my routine had me feel like my brain was going through the rinse cycle and clumps of dirt were still stuck every which way.
After realizing we didn’t have enough time to explore an art museum before needing to hop on an hour train back to the hotel. I felt defeated, like I “lost” at this whole travel thing.
So I did what any sane adult would do: I threw a tantrum.
The next morning I was determined to have a better day, or at least acknowledge I was feeling run down and have some solitude. I thought the library would be quiet and I can write down my thoughts there.
Google maps activated and necessities in my bag, I strode off in a huff.
Forced to wait for traffic, my inner voice asked me why I was in such a hurry to get somewhere, just to slow down there. Why can’t I make the actual walk slow and enjoyable?
It became a game: how many little sparks of light can I find within a 15 minute walk?
The first flash of inspiration came within seconds. All I needed to do was look up.
I first noticed the pop of fuchsia from the flowers and how it stood out against the yellow building facade. The patterns created by the light was a bonus.
Then came the buildings with no graffiti. It felt like a miracle! (for reference, the area I’m staying has quite a bit of smattering of buildings). I stood there and made up stories of people who may live there. Or, was there some sort of apartment association that ran off anyone with a spray paint can?
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Walking around the corner, I was greeted with a message.
It felt like the sun was purposely shining on that spot so I wouldn’t miss the sign.
If I really wanted some jewelry, the window display would have convinced me to walk in.
By the time I got to the library, my shoulders were down and I did manage to abate the storm clouds in my mind.
It turns out, no matter where I am in the world or what my plans are, all I needed to do was to look up and pay attention.
You wrote, "Forced to wait for traffic, my inner voice asked me why I was in such a hurry to get somewhere, just to slow down there. Why can’t I make the actual walk slow and enjoyable?" This line and internal questioning is SO beautiful. It perfectly encapsulates a paradox we often live by, rushing through the present moment to get to a future where we plan to be present. It’s a subtle yet profound commentary on our modern inclination to defer joy and mindfulness, as if they are destinations rather than a continuous journey.
The internal dialogue you shared is a reflection of many of our own experiences. We sprint through our days, convinced that the reward for our haste will be a moment of calm, only to find that the habit of rushing has become so ingrained that even when we reach our intended "slow-down" point, we struggle to truly disengage from the frantic pace.
I hope you are enjoying your trip 🩵
Slowing down, especially during travel, does seem counterintuitive, since we want to see ALL THE SIGHTS. I feel like I'm reminded of this every time I travel because I always forget! I'm glad you had a flash of insight and started to pay attention and appreciate the moment. This is something I need to do on my way to and from work!