Becoming a Fearless Writer
The second edition of SELF-HELP BOOK ADVENTURES
Welcome to the second installment of SELF HELP BOOK ADVENTURES, where I attempt to pick apart a self-help book and see it through the lens of enough (and whether it’s helpful or you’re better off passing on by). I read the entire book, go through the exercises and see whether the author tries to help you become more of who you are and from a place of encouragement.
Not sure how I came across
, but boy am I glad I did. My first interaction with her work was listening to the Calm Christmas Podcast when I felt like I was at my wits end a few years ago, and her giving permission to listeners to embrace winter (and end of the calendar year) however we wanted felt so reassuring. It took me some time to discover she was also a self-help writer, though it could have been because I was trying hard to avoid self-help books.I signed up for one of her free writing classes and fell in love with the way she taught (she also has a Substack
which I also highly recommend!). I was used to a lot of technical writing and fact checking. Also, to be super frank, used to editors and teachers who taught the types of writing that demanded to be seen immediately. Her approach (where writers could share their work but others weren’t allowed to critique) felt like a breath of fresh air.And since I’ve made the decision to write more personal essays and my insatiable curiosity of searching for enough (haha, get it?), the thoughts of “how can I write better?” or “what techniques can I implement to elicit an emotional response in readers?” kept cropping up. So much so that I didn’t think I had the writing chops to do it.
All I thought was missing was a few technical writing know-how and I’d be off to the races. That, and learning “hacks” on how to write consistently and put my work out there.
Then I came across Beth Kempton’s The Way of the Fearless Writer*. Part of me deep down I needed permission to just write and reclaim my identity as a writer (one that writes more than just about finances anyway) but I came to this book thinking it was to help me write more and my readership would magically grow.
Oh, how surprisingly wrong I was.
Rarely has a self-help book made me emotional and hopeful near the end, even wanting to do more of the work to incorporate writing into my life. I felt like I was enough as I was as a writer, where I currently am. All I needed was a gentle nudge to do more of it, and get support along the way.
*affiliate link
How the Book is Laid Out
The book has three major sections, each with a theme or series of chapters and exercises to move you on the journey to become a fearless writer (Beth Kempton calls this a pilgrimage). You walk through a metaphorical set of sacred gates, based on the Buddhist Three Gates of Liberation:
The Gate of Desirelessness
The Gate of Formlessness
The Gate of Emptiness
The first section consists of chapters all about what it means to be a writer and giving you permission to create (there are also sorts of writing!). The second is more on the actual act of writing itself, and the types of writing you’ll come across. The last is briefly about refining your writing, but more about how to integrate writing into the rest of your life.
Each chapter has several writing exercises that relate to some point Beth Kempton mentions to help you move further on. For example, there are exercises that get you unstuck from feeling like you’re not a good writer, all the way to more technical aspects like looking at a past piece of writing and shaping it differently.
Dearests, if you’re on Substack and like what you’re reading on Searching For Enough please consider recommending this publication. Your readers can come to a safe space where in a world asking you to strive for more, I help them champion for living life on their own terms by listening to and acting on your inner voice.
What I Took Away
Where do I begin? 😂
First off, I loved how the book was structured, as someone deep into learning Buddhist philosophy and part of a weekly meditation sangha (group also dedicated to applying mindfulness principles in their lives). I knew immediately that it wasn’t going to be a self-help book from someone who is an all encompassing expert, and I was the lowly not-knowing person.
Honestly, the first third of this book really surprised me, more so because of my reaction to it. There’s that cliche that you can hear something a bazillion times but it doesn’t really land until you hear it when you really need to? That’s what happened to me.
I’d like to think of myself as someone who is pretty fearless — I bought a one-way ticket to Australia at the drop of a hat after all! But for some reason, writing in a style or theme that is new-ish to me feels so vulnerable, that I still feel myself holding back. I also believed I was such a newbie to writing that surely I had no idea what I was doing or even had the skills to get my stuff out there to publishers.
I proved myself wrong, by way of one of the exercises Beth Kempton laid out.
The exercise sounded simple, but in the end, I ended up spending several hours on it. Basically, the writing exercise asks you to create a visual map of your life and focus on important people, events and even experiences. More importantly, ones related to writing. Afterwards, you take a look at what you created and connect anything you feel is related, any key turning points and even the evolution of your writing journey.
What I learned is that I have been exploring the lens of enough-ness for over a decade! I had somehow forgotten I had a personal blog for a good while and one where I wrote about my travels and aspects I was learning on how to live a fearless life. I do not take it as any sort of coincidence that I’m reading a book about being a fearless writer, ha!
I even went back and looked at the drafts I published through this blog, and surprised myself and how many comments there were from readers. I also noticed when I stopped personal writing was when I was hunkering down in hustle mode, either during times when I had to increase my income or during a big life transition (um, having a child will do that to you). I learned that my writing came in starts and stops, and zooming out, I learned that I’m still a writer, even when at one point in time I stopped writing creatively.
Another part of the book also gave me permission to reclaim my writer title I gave away all those years ago. Again, I know that journaling, writing random notes and other private creations still count as writing, but I convinced myself over the years that I had to be published to be a writer. Or at the very least someone else reading my writing.
How Beth Kempton frames different types of writing really helped give me even more permission to write. What she called gaseous state writing is simply writing words down. It’s not meant to be shared with anyone. I haven’t written like that in a while, if at all.
It seems silly in retrospect, but I held this belief that writing is meant for public consumption, and pursuits like brainstorming or even journaling didn’t count. Any ideas I have for writing on this Substack or other ideas —though I have a list written down somewhere — lives in my head. Deep down I probably believed that these ideas can’t come out until I have a more coherent way of articulating them in writing. When in fact, I can write and write and write until I can see how I want to articulate an idea by digging through words.
Another exercise I worked through was playing with an existing draft I published — I used the piece where I wrote about my relationship with my dead father. I took some paragraphs and played with the tense, adding more details by freezing different scenes and rearranged words to move the action backwards from what the original piece had.
There are lots more exercises I have yet to work on in the book. But my goal of getting a gentle nudge? I give myself 10 out of 10 in that department.
Takeaways
I could go on forever about every detail I took away from and experienced in this book. But, I don’t think you’d like to read 60,459 words on the topic 😅
So, I’ll do us all a favor and recap a few more of my most memorable takeaways:
Writing can be a big part of your life, but not your entire life.
Look for the signs, the magic, and be observant because you never know where your next writing inspiration will come from.
There are people who love you but don’t understand your love of writing.
There is a step between the brainstorming and drafting stage, (I call it) pre-writing, where you’re simply spilling words out. This stage is just as important as all other stages, especially if it gives you permission to keep going.
Lead with curiosity.
Take care of yourself. Stuff can come up when you’re writing and you may not be ready to face it or it’s too much for you right now.
Impostor syndrome crops up when you think your achievements, or proving to others your expertise, is solely something you do on your own. Nobody is self-made, and so we should all share in our expertise and accomplishments.
The world needs your words, what you have to offer is good, you are enough. Sure, you may need to worry about the practical stuff like getting words published and marketing a book, but let’s focus on your work first, taking care of yourself, and letting go of the result.
Overall I felt seen and heard during and after reading this book. Am I totally confident in myself as a writer? Of course not. Do I feel I have enough of what it takes to write consistently for the rest of my life, and even publish a book if I want to? Yes.
What a thoughtful review. I loved the idea of mapping out your writer timeline. I am going to try that. And what a great concept - enquiring which self help books actually support us being more of ourselves.
Answer to your second question: The Code Breaker, by Walter Isaacson. Riveting coverage of the revolutionary gene editing work. I thought the coverage of Silicon Valley high-tech revolution (focused on Steve Jobs) was the peak of Isaacson's work, this one is even better.
Answer to first question: Honestly, I had no choice. I founded a nonprofit, sd-ai.org, which is pretty technical work. And I needed to write to a larger audience, in a nontechnical way, in order to get more grass-roots feedback about my work. Love the feel of things here on Substack. Grew up in Eastern Europe, but English has become my go-to language.