The grey bag with brown leather accents and side pockets sitting by the oak dresser taunts me daily each time I get out of bed.
All I want to do is to prioritize what I will place in my one 40L backpack when I leave on my trip in a few months.
I’ve watched hours upon hours of Youtube videos on one bag travel and the “best” items you can buy to get the most out of long term travel. I have wish lists curated in Google Keep for when it comes time to buy these items in a few weeks.
Truth be told, the constraint of packing only one bag for three months of travel is giving me a strange sense of comfort. After packing up most of my family’s belongings and sticking it in a storage unit, and selling the house, my mind hasn’t felt very settled.
Yes, many of the logistics I mentioned before are done. Decisions have been made, tickets booked, hotel rooms reserved.
All that’s left (for now) is the bits and bobs that I can’t really do anything about until closer to departure.
In the meantime, my brain is going overtime thinking about current client work I’m juggling, and working out strategies to foster and maintain professional relationships. And how to maintain that while on the road.
I’m also learning about train systems in Europe, including making seat reservations and wondering how to transfer from train to train to a final destination. Also, debating whether my 10-year-old can handle a 10+ hour train ride for several legs of this trip.
Conversations have continued to ruminate in my head about the solitude I crave, and how each of my family members can have their own private space or sense of autonomy while we’re crammed into small hotel rooms and short-term stays.
I also can’t help but project six months into the future, whether my family will end up getting sick of each other, of travel, of adventures big and small, or of this intention we continue to build into our days.
The waves of critique and harsh thoughts somehow seem to calm down when I obsess over packing lists. The specificity of it all feels easy to control, since I can measure how many items is enough for three months on the road.
Packing a 40L backpack successfully is a small goal and I know what its completion will look like. I can measure it.
I can’t measure how “successful” a three month trip with my family will be.
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What is helping the swirling thoughts and constant ruminating?
Meditation in the morning (15 minutes of guided meditation feels doable for now).
Maintaining a routine of three actions I need to take as soon as I wake up: brushing my teeth, putting in eye drops, and splashing cold water on my face.
Checking in on loved ones living far away via the various messaging apps we all use.
These pauses help me notice that I’m not beholden to my thoughts, the strong emotions coursing through my veins, and the clenching in my jaw.
I’m in a major transitional phase. I don’t have a physical home I can call my own. My career is in flux. Friends whom I’ve been able to see in person regularly, need to work around long distance communication (which is a lot to ask of my loved ones).
All I can do is to continue to confirm travel logistics, prepare my son’s learning materials, do the best I can to do the best work for my clients, and work with my husband to ensure we have the foundations in place.
My brain and body want to feel safe. All I can do is to put one foot in front of another and examine my thinking patterns along the way.
I can already feel my jaws unclenching.
Yes! Have been a one bag packer for a while now as traveling as light as possible is something I am interested in. Small or big, uncertainty is something we struggle to embrace as humans, so reminding myself to keep tending to the things I can manage and not worry about the things I can’t helps me in some measure control the panic. Wishing you a beautiful journey ahead.
We did 4 weeks in Europe and we did carry ons and two of us shared a medium bag. It’s nothing like what you are doing, but I look back on my capsule wardrobe so fondly. I got ready by taking photos of the various outfits for the various climates. We checked all our bags for the long leg to Germany where they unfortunately got lost - going shopping while being jet lagged wasn’t the best feeling - so I’m sure that having your small bags and not checking them will be so helpful (or if you do end up checking them like us, you may want to pack in a way that you’ll be ok if the bag goes missing for a while - we ended up picking up the bag on our way through the airport a week later).